[Only the first name is being used for the subject of this article, at her request.]
Brenda was in her twenties when she began using drugs heavily. Crack cocaine was her drug of choice because it was the "in" thing and because of the high that it gave. She both used and sold drugs, saying, "I was a runner. I’m a drug felon." She continued, "I got four years and I served 32 months. It was terrible. I would never go back again!" Extending her arms outward, she exclaimed, "My rap sheet’s like this. I’m not proud of it."
When asked whether it was the money for drugs that caused her to become a prostitute, she stated that she’d been a prostitute before her use of drugs began.
For a period of time she had a pimp. But after a while she realized that he wasn’t doing anything for her except taking her money, so she parted company with the man. Then she says, "I started doing it just for me."
A terrifying experience made Brenda realize just how dangerous things could get. She had relied on her instincts regarding her "clients." On one occasion she got into a vehicle with a man who "was talking nice to me and all that." After he’d driven for a distance much longer than Brenda thought was necessary, he pulled out a gun. He held her at gunpoint, kidnapped her, took her to Dayton, Maine, and raped her. After the attack he threw her out of the car and told her to walk back.
There was no particular time of day or evening when Brenda worked. She said, "Whenever I needed money I went out. I never knew when the end of a working day was going to be, but I could honestly say I was out there probably every day." Condoms were always used, as a precaution against pregnancy and disease.
This was the era before cell phones, but there were pagers then, and Brenda had one of those. She had "regulars" who could call her. "I was very choosy with my regulars. Trust me on that."
Her routine was to get money from hustling, then go to the dealer, get the drugs, use them, and then go back out on the street. "That became a pattern," says Brenda.
She was arrested numerous times for prostitution, spending some overnights in jail, but mostly paying fines. "I’d get picked up, fined, and be back on the street to make the money to pay the fine."
Brenda’s favorite corner was Cumberland Avenue and Mellon Street. She laughingly talks about one of the officers who used to see her a lot in Parkside. He’d say "Brenda, you’re making the neighborhood look bad. Please move along."
Brenda and many of the cops who arrested her years ago now have quite a friendly relationship, with their conversations interspersed with a lot of humor. She said "They’ve seen that I’ve become a respected member of the community." When several of them began to patronize the store where she worked, they asked her: "You’re not going to spit in our food, are you?"
The people who arrested her years ago are now very proud of her. They don’t see too many success stories in their daily routines and they get a big kick out of Brenda the Mommy.
She says "I don’t hold no grudges. They were doing their jobs just like I had to do mine." Brenda said, "It took me having a baby to turn my life around." This was a baby she very much wanted to have. And she didn’t want to lose this one because of her lifestyle. Brenda, who was one of 13 children, basically has no memory of her childhood. She was in foster care and adopted at age three. At 16 she went back to her biological mother and that was also when she began to sell herself on the streets.
Brenda’s first daughter was taken away from her by DHHS. She is now 27. Brenda says, "Since I got off drugs I have a relationship with her."
Brenda had been in and out of rehab more than once. "I wanted to get off drugs," she says, "but I wasn’t ready until I got pregnant."
At age 43 Brenda was pregnant for the second time. "I wanted this baby," she said. It was my ‘way out.’" She went to Crossroads, in Windham, which she said is a very good program. She was an inpatient at the facility. It was there that she weaned herself off the drugs. "It took me having a baby to turn my life around."
That baby, Gigi, is now a beautiful four-year-old. "We all love Gigi," says Mary-Ellen Welch. "She’s the neighborhood child." There are photos of Brenda and Gigi posted in the Midtown Community Policing Center, of which Welch is the Community Policing Coordinator. Welch refers to Brenda as a "spitfire." She says, "She tells it like it is." Welch remembers seeing Brenda wheeling her baby around the neighborhood and says she was always impressed with the obvious care and love that was showered on the child. "She always looked beautiful, clean, and happy," says Welch. And she had seen too many babies that didn’t fall into that category when she had been a caseworker at DHHS in the Child Protective Division.
Senior Lead Officer Dan Knight also has a desk in the Midtown office and it serves as his base of operations. He does a lot of patrolling around the Bayside neighborhood on his bicycle, which is often seen parked right out front.
Knight is very proud of Brenda’s accomplishments and enjoys when she brings Gigi in to say hello. He said of his former interactions with Brenda, "She was one of the most challenging persons I’ve dealt with in my career." Knight sees Brenda almost every day that he works. "We have a friendly relationship, and I’m so happy to see where Brenda is now."
[Mary-Ellen Welch and Senior Lead Officer Dan Knight]
David Norberg owns Dyer’s Variety on Portland Street. He is Brenda’s employer and also rents an apartment to her in one of his nearby buildings. He said, "She keeps her place immaculate. She works for me also and is very reliable."
Brenda lives in a neighborhood where drugs are all around her. She says, "Sometimes I’ll see people doing drug deals and I flip out. I saw a deal right in front of my daughter’s day care recently, and I yelled at them." They said they were just exchanging vitamins. Brenda said to them "Vitamins aren’t blue!"
She knows what’s going on in the neighborhood, who’s dealing, who’s buying, who’s using. But this is where Brenda lives. She says, "I’d like to move but it’s close to work and Gigi’s day care."
"I know I’ve come from where they’re at and I don’t judge them."
Brenda knows what she wants for her daughter: "I want her to have an education. I want her to have a good job."
Brenda now has a large support group of friends she can count on. Her longtime friend Bobby and his cousin Mike are part of this group, and they serve as beloved uncles to Brenda’s little girl. Brenda says, "They’ll babysit for Gigi. She loves them!"
Looking back at her former life, Brenda says, "I’d never want to go back. I like what I have now. Now I got a job, a license, a car, and money in the bank." And she has her precious daughter, the most important part of her new life.
When asked if she has any advice to pass along to people who are in the position she used to be in, she says, "Get out when you can. You could be dead, or in jail. If you’re into it, get out!"

